Extra Salt & Sauce

NIVEA have been running a poster campaign throughout January that is a poorly concealed attempt to emulate Dove's esteemed campaign for real beauty.

The NIVEA campaign has featured 6 sheets with photography of laughing women rubbing their faces together with inviting lines such as "beauty is sharing", "beauty is being there" or "beauty is peace" (baby sleeping on an exhausted but attractive young father).

The portion of the website in which you can share what beauty means to you has died a death at this present moment. Perhaps it doesn't mean anything much to anyone (beyond adept application of make-up). Anyway, listen to me with my cynical Friday afternoon voice.

The point of this post is that today I am pleased to celebrate that this shamelessly derivative campaign has now - the happy 1 Feb - been withdrawn from bus shelters. Now that is beautiful.

I thought we were safe. But no. A whole new campaign up at the weekend from our friends at NIVEA. Now proposing that beauty is a smile.

Disgusted of Edinburgh

A broad Cockney accent and he’s on the phone:

“Once we’ve got to that stage...I know baby, we’re there already and I’m just going to tell her. I don’t care...”

“I just want to see you, you know, say three nights a week and two weekend days every month. And I’d fight for that, you know? I don’t care what she says. I’ll fight for it.”

He gets up and wanders away. I’m thinking he’s surely embarrassed to be having this conversation two feet away from me. But no, three minutes later and he’s back with a beer. Faithful Costa serving beer.

“I’d give up, you know, two and a half grand a month, just so I didn’t have to see her, you know. I just want to know the kids’ll be alright but I don’t want to see her, y’know?”

“She just follows me around, you know? I can’t go anywhere. I tell her, I’ve got a playstation wii and a gameboy in there. That’s what I’m going to do. But she just follows me in and sits there watching me silently. I’m sick of it, you know?”

“ ‘Ang on, I’ve got a friend on the other line, a South Wales friend, 'ang on…”

“ ‘Ooo’s that? Eh? Oh, hiya mate…. Yeah I can get 'em, how many do you want? Yeah, they’ll be worth a lot more over there. Ehhh? Why don’t I give you a call tomorrow and we’ll get something done for you, John eh? Thank you John mate. Bye.”

I should be writing a research proposal but I’m transfixed (aurally) by this conversation behind my back.

Now he's on to someone else:

“I don’t fink they really expect me to do anything while I’m here. You know, they’ve only given me £500 spending money. And last time when I went away, they gave me £1,200 and that was only for 4 days.”

What job does this guy do??

“Eh, you wouldn’t believe the bird I’ve got at the moment, mate...”

Then he starts chatting about a particularly explicit encounter between himself and this bird.

“I’ll see you at ten past nine. I’ll grab a couple of bottles of champagne. Pink champagne, innit? Great. See you soon, mate.”

And he’s off. Wish he was on my flight…

There's a poster up at the top of Portobello Road in Edinburgh, just next to Morrisons and just down from Meadowbank.

I say poster but actually it's a series of mosaic tiles, making one of those puzzles you had when you were a child where you have to shoogle the pieces around to make a picture.

It started off as a complete jumble about 3 weeks ago and it's almost got to its proper correct picture as we speak. And it's a Honda.

It fits beautifully alongside the TV ad. And is such a charming and imaginative use of a 48 sheet site. I'm delighted by it.

I tried to find a photo on the internet but even flickr isn't yielding anything. You shall have to go see for yourselves.

The Leith graffiti artist has obviously built up something of a following.

Dinner party chat on Saturday revealed that the son of a friend had seen what appeared to be The Graffiti-er arrested outside the baby Tesco on Leith Walk in the process of applying an anti-capitalist slogan to the Tesco wall.

To graffiti in broad daylight! What audacity!

Clearly a modern day Robin Hood who uses the power of words to bring down the rich and save the poor.

Nice animation here from Sergio Rossi. Only flaw is I don't believe that the beautiful red shoe would "engage" with the dirty white trainer. But I've always been too superficial.

Focus groups last night in Glasgow and one respondent thoughtfully started telling me that what would be most useful as an information source would be a leaflet with an information card inside it that you can press out "because they can do that now, you know. They can make it at the printers like that so you can just press it out." You learn something new every day.